Caregiving often sneaks up on you. First, it starts by simply dropping by your mom’s house to do her laundry or taking your dad to a doctor’s appointment. Then, you might find yourself grocery shopping and refilling prescriptions. Slowly, you are doing more and more, and at some point, you’ll realize you have committed to taking care of someone else. Caregiving is sometimes triggered by a stroke, heart attack, or an accident. Perhaps you suddenly realize that your dad’s memory lapses have become dangerous. Life as you know it stops, and now you find yourself putting all your energy towards caring for your loved one.
Your close personal relationship with whom you care for helps you understand and interpret their feelings, wishes, and needs. You are also the first to become aware of the many physical and emotional problems, the first to deal with those problems, and often the person who carries out plans that you and the healthcare team develop. The demands of caring for a loved one can be exhausting and even lead to burnout. Maintaining your health and well-being is crucial so you can provide the best possible care.
Caregiving 101
Caregivers can be anyone. Spouses, partners, adult children, parents, relatives such as siblings, aunts, nieces/nephews, in-laws, grandchildren, friends, neighbors. Anyone. Whatever your relationship is with the person you’re caring for, you must add the title “caregiver” to the list of things that define who you are. Caregivers can play other roles, as well. You might be employed full or part-time. You may be raising your own children or volunteering at a local charity. You may be a spouse or have other family commitments. Adding caregiving to your long list of to-dos can undoubtedly lead to frustration and exhaustion. You may even start living a double life, like navigating social service systems, calling doctors while you’re at work, advocating for the care receiver, and taking care of their day-to-day needs, all while trying to do some of the same things for yourself and your family.
As a caregiver, you are most likely not trained to do the broad range of tasks you are asked to do. This lack of training can lead to unwanted injuries like back strain because you haven’t been properly taught how to transfer someone from bed to chair correctly or wheelchair to the car. Or you find yourself battling with your mom, who has Alzheimer’s Disease, because you have not learned the necessary skills to communicate with someone with cognitive impairment.
If you’re a caregiver, it’s normal that you buy groceries, cook, clean the house, do laundry, and provide transportation. Helping your loved one get dressed, bathe, and take their medicine is also expected. Furthermore, you might be responsible for transferring them out of bed, helping with physical therapy, and performing medical interventions like injections, feeding tubes, wound treatment or breathing treatments. Other obligations include arranging medical appointments, driving them to the doctor, sitting in on appointments, talking with their healthcare team, monitoring prescriptions, handling finances, and other legal matters. Lastly, being on call 24/7 and merely being a companion.
Caring for Yourself When Caring for Another
Self-care isn’t selfish. You are a caregiver if you care for someone who needs help. Caregiving can be hard on you despite the great sense of reward you may feel. To continue being a good caregiver, you must take care of yourself. One way you can do this is to ensure you have consistent breaks from your caregiving responsibilities (referred to as respite care). Short breaks can be a crucial part of maintaining your own health. Respite care allows the caregiver some time off from their caregiving responsibilities. It can be different types of services in the home, adult day care, or even short-term nursing home care so caregivers can have a break or even go on vacation. Research shows that even a few hours of respite a week can improve a caregiver’s well-being. Anyone can provide respite care, including family, friends, a nonprofit group, or a government agency.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Family & Friends for Help
If you choose help from family and friends, make your needs known. Here are some suggestions for getting help from people you know:
- Identify a caregiving task or a block of time that you would like help with. There may be a book club meeting you’d like to attend that you’ve been missing because of your caregiving responsibilities. Be ready when someone says, “What can I do to help?” with a specific time or task, such as, “It would be beneficial for me if you could stay with mom Tuesday night so I can go to my book club for 2 hours.”
- Be understanding if you are turned down. The person may not help with that specific request, but they may help another time. Don’t be afraid to ask again.
- If you have trouble asking for help face-to-face, try writing an e-mail or a text message to your friends and family about your needs. Set up a shared online calendar or scheduling tool where people can sign up to provide you with regular respite.
Seek Help from Medical Professionals
Does your doctor know you are a caregiver? You have special needs as a caregiver that your doctor should be aware of. Be sure to let your doctor know if your caregiving responsibilities make you depressed or anxious. Healthcare professionals may also know about support groups offered in the community that can help you. Let your doctor (or your care recipient’s doctor) know that you need help finding respite care. A doctor may be able to write you a “prescription” for respite services via Medicare’s PACE program.
Getting Help from Nonprofits and Government Agencies
Here’s how to get back some of your “me time” using nonprofit organizations or government agencies. Some valuable resources include organizations that advocate for people with specific diseases. If you care for someone with Alzheimer’s disease, heart disease, cancer, or lung disease, respite care services may be available from the following organizations: Alzheimer’s Association, American Heart Association, American Cancer Society, and American Lung Association. The National Respite Locator is a resource that can help you find adult daycare and other respite services near you. Take advantage of CDC’s free Complete Care Plan and other caregiver resources.
If you’re still unable to catch a break, consider joining an online support group. It’s helpful to share your experiences with others in similar circumstances and get support and new resources from them—for example, Caring.com Resource Center. Caring.com offers resources to help you navigate caregiving and access to online support groups, such as the Alzheimer’s Caregiver Support Group.
Remember—Caring for a loved one strains even the most resilient people. If you’re a caregiver, take steps to preserve your health and well-being.
Source https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/caring-for-yourself.html https://www.caregiver.org/caregiving-101-being-caregiver https://www.caregiver.org/taking-care-you-self-care-family-caregivers